It’s that time of year again – you know what I mean – when I go to the card shop, look around and realize Canada Post does not deliver to Heaven. I have never ceased to be disappointed by that fact because you know, I would love to send you a card.
Since I’ve been trying to write a little more, I thought perhaps I can write my own card and send it out on the web – God will see it and perhaps He will let you know again that I love you so much. I miss you so much. You were an incredible mother to me. A sacrificial woman who loved because you had love available for me. I wasn’t born into this world as your child. You chose to have me as your child. A huge deal at any time in the life of a baby. Chosen. Free will. Love.
If I think back to that time and realize that while it wasn’t your first Mother’s Day (you had many sons), it was your first with your infant daughter. I can only imagine what it must have been like – a crying baby constantly, while you had so many other things you needed to do – like care of aging parents, home maintenance, gardening. How you did it, I will never know. Only love and the desire to sacrifice to make it work, is what comes to mind. The depth of that is, in many ways, beyond me.
You sewed adorable clothes. You baked cookies and patiently showed me how to bake. You tried to teach me how to crochet, knit, sew. I know – I disappointed you on those fronts. My ‘high ideas’ as you would call them, took me to Switzerland or a royal court or knee deep into the Barbie world. You threw really fun surprise birthday parties. Even though you invited David E. and he kissed me – the rest of the party was really fun. You knew how to have a good time.
I learned so much from you. You were a terrific hostess. The best bridal and baby showers occurred at your house. I learned how to organize and prepare food for many local ladies under your supervision. I cherish the china and tea plates still in my possession. Many things have been recycled – but not those things. In my heart, I hope to resurrect the fine art of afternoon tea, with you as my precious guest of honour. (A ‘high idea’ active in my mind only.)
You taught me how to drive a car and we would go to Woolco, just because we could with our newly found freedom. While you tried to keep my feet on the ground with endless dish drying and Saturday chores, you indulged my inner desires to fly to strange places and live on the fishing beach – letting my mind wander to the future dreams.
Always there in the audience (even as an audience of one, at times), my searching eyes would rest once I caught a glimpse of you. No choir song would be performed as well, unless you were there to hear it. While I know you thought my passion for libraries and debating was a little ‘off kilter’, you found a way to encourage me to use it all wisely – ‘go to law school’. I’m sorry I didn’t follow that extremely wise advice, Mom. However, you were welcoming when the love of my life, my beloved, strolled in and met you for the first time.
You encouraged me when I felt sad about boyfriends coming and going. You were behind me when I felt sure I had met the real love of my life. You understood when I had some different wedding plans and you supported me wherever you could.
I thought my heart would explode when you told me as a young woman that you had cancer. I remember clearly telling you that it has to be healed because I need my mother – I had not had my first child then – and a girl needs her mother. You, always the encourager, told me you would do your best. You did, with God’s help. I am so grateful for the years we had beyond that time.
When it came time to move away for school with my family, you were stoic. Your creativity kicked in and you planned another surprise – a visit to our new place so far away. You could see I was buried in household chores and transition. Your solution was to buy a dishwasher.
Mom – how many times have I smiled in these memories! Your desire for my girls to potty trained at the right age or to wear cute dresses to church – all impacted how I would subsequently parent them. I cannot be compared to you as a mother – for I know I could not do half of the things you were able to do for me. However, your model was my example. I tried my hardest to follow in your path.
You felt the most important thing for me was to attend a church where the Bible was taught. I am grateful I was obedient in your instruction. Church life lead me to knowing God in a personal relationship, grounding me in Biblical truth and directing my steps in finding my beloved. My life at church was foundational to all the things I have done throughout my life.
The key was you. Your faithfulness as my mom. A mom by heart.
Thank you Mom – for the million amazing memories you have generously given to me. Truly, I thank the Lord for you and all that you are to me today. I love you so much. Happy 16th Mother’s Day in Heaven! Your reward is great, I am sure.